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How I wrote a chapter in a collaborative book.

Back in August 2020 on the very night that the ex abruptly terminated our relationship, I remember saying to him that I was going to write the book. I had no idea at that point how things would unfold. It took me eight months before I could focus on anything, I started to feel a little more positive although my situation was far from secure. I engaged a company in January 2021 and they had led me to believe that they helped in conflict resolution and mediation. So with this company supposedly helping me, I did feel that things might improve.

My First Book

Around the time that I started the outline of my book, I had been active in a group called GriefHab by Samatha Ruth on Facebook. I had made a comment in the group that I was starting out to write my first book. I was then invited by Samantha to take part in writing a chapter for a collaborative book. Thinking about my situation I didn’t want to write about that before I had completed my book. I chose to write about an experience I had when I was just 27 years of age.

I first met Samantha M Ruth through her Facebook group #GriefHab I know the pain of losing a partner very suddenly. I was 47 at that time he was 52 he suffered a fatal heart attack. However, when I found GriefHab it was because I had been abruptly discarded by the partner I had been with for the past 11 yrs.

Regained Some Confidence

At 59 yrs of age, you think that you have come to a time when life is about enjoying the future. I had regained some confidence after a period in which my partner had confessed to my face about seeing another woman while in the UK. The pain and deep trauma was unbearable. He didn’t confess in order to make things better, he wanted me to accept he could have a double lifestyle. The panic attacks, the sleepless nights, the thoughts spinning in my head. I had no clue how I could get through the anxiety. I had all different emotions of fear, anger, hurt and disappointment.

I have studied a lot of personal development throughout my life. The thoughts of being grateful thankful and forgiving were far from my mind. Until one morning I woke and the inner voice said to me. “You are killing yourself slowly”. So I had to do something to help myself. I went back to the personal development materials and yes, negative thoughts and emotions can lead to physical illness.

Forgiveness Statements

I found my own way through releasing anger. I didn’t journal at that time but I did write some letters to the universe. Including my letter to the other woman. Then I had some statements that I would repeat out loud every night and every morning. My own forgiveness statements. It started to work. Eventually, after 9 months my partner ended the affair with this other woman. I started to recover and regained confidence. Started to live my life again. Hopeful for the future. I created three blank journal books and put them for sale on Amazon.

During 2019 I had put the pain behind me I started enjoying yoga, I did a couple of art classes, I began to have ideas again around building an online business. I even joined a dance group with my Spanish neighbours to join in the Cartagena Carnival that would be in February 2020. Life felt good. Then obviously Covid hit the world in March. My partner made the decision not to return to the UK he didn’t want to get stuck in the UK unable to return to Spain.

Transformation Breakthrough Therapy

We spent time together talking about plans for the future and working on projects around the villa. I was transforming the land creating paths and planting cactus and succulents. The flight restrictions were lifted. My partner returned to the UK the plan was to pack a hired van with a lot of furniture and personal items. He left in July and booked his return for August. While in the UK he booked a 2 day transformation breakthrough coaching program. He wanted to improve his health and reduce his back pain. He flew out to Spain the day after the breakthrough therapy. The day after he arrived we spent the whole day talking he wanted to tell me everything about his experience. How he had had this massive transformation and how he felt so much better.

Help Me To Find The Success In Business

It was so very strange. He even talked about paying for me to have the same experience. He even talked about booking flights to return to the UK, how he would hire a car, book a hotel and be with me while I did this 2-day transformation breakthrough. I questioned him as to why I would want to do that. His reply was that he thought it would help me to find the success in business that I always wanted. I wasn’t sure. The next day was also very strange. He was acting differently towards me. It was later in the evening that I would discover why. (On reflection, maybe it was a way for him to get me back to the UK and out of the Spanish property before discarding me, who knows what goes through the thoughts of a person whose mind has been shaken up like a snow globe.)

We had entertained friends at the villa as soon as they left he said let’s have a nightcap and sit in the comfy seats on the porch. We both sat down on the porch and the first sentence started alarm bells ringing in my head.

“I’ve got something to tell you,” he said.

Flashback to 2017 and his confession to my face.

The next sentence out of his mouth was.

“I’m in love with another woman, we can remain friends if you want to remain friends, we just can’t have sex anymore.”

This is my story. I started to write my book in April 2021. I self-published in May 2022 using my author pen name Loren Keeling. There is a message in this book. Hoping that I can get this message out to all the people who need to hear it. I want to be able to educate, inform and bring about changes, yes all very big goals. I am determined that I will achieve this.

This was how I became involved in the project for “Faces Of Mental Illness” I posted in the GriefHab group about my experience of grieving and anxiety, and about my reasons for writing my book.

The “Faces Of Mental Illness” book project was inspired by Claudia Fernandez-Niedzielski, Samantha Ruth and also Kate Butler as publisher. You can read my story and nineteen other stories from people who have lived experiences of mental illness. We share our stories in “Faces Of Mental Illness” in a collective effort to break stigmas, inspire hope, and change the way the world views Mental Illness.

The forward is written by Jack Canfield.

Also in April 2021, I started my first YouTube Channel. I had no clue what I was doing I was modelling videos that I was watching and learning from. Then in June 2021, I invested in training to learn more about creating videos and monetizing with affiliate links. I started posting review videos on this second channel. However, it seemed that every time I took a step forward in my life to try and make better of my situation the Ex was one step behind.

He was pushing me to leave the property, setting deadlines and offering derisory sums. From March and April 2021 with the mediator as the go-between, I was offered £13,000. While the original offers were 50% of the sale value or he was willing to sell the property to me for the €115,000 which was 50% of the valuation that had been done in August 2020. Then after I took things into my own hands, there was an agreement of £40,000 the mediator informed me that they had received an initial sum of £3,000 and I would receive this as soon an arrangement was made for the Ex partners MG Sports car to go into storage, I packed up all of his personal items as well.

The storage company arrived as planned and the vintage sports car was moved onto the trailer all the suitcases and his personal possessions were removed to go into storage. So I kept my side of the bargain. I had been told the £3,000 would be in my account a few days later. One week went by, and I asked about the payment, and the mediator had an excuse about being busy with court cases. Another week went by and again I received another excuse from the mediator, he thought he might have Covid. Another week went by, I am now thinking I have been manipulated again. When I call I get another excuse, there has been a death in the family. The truth was that no sum of money had been paid into the company account. He had lied to me.

I posted this video on Facebook on the 18th of June 2021. After I had discovered that the Ex-partner and the mediation company had lied and manipulated the situation.

The Ex partner offered me 50% of the value of the home we were meant to share. €115,000. 29th August 2020. Within days I was being threatened with being thrown out onto the streets. 4th September 2020. Then again September 15th 2020 I had to listen to him as he went through what he wanted and what he needed. As he lost control and I became the person to blame.

The goalposts were moved so many times. It has been one huge roller coaster ride. April 2021 offer was £13,000 then it went to £40,000 In June 2021 he wrote his offer was £25,000. A week later it was £30,000

In July 2021 an agreement of £40,000 was reached in two payments £10,000 in 1 month then £30,000 on sale agreed. In fact, the prospective buyers were ready to pay a deposit and were going to meet the next day to sort it all out. The only thing was he moved the goalposts again. He altered the agreement to say that the £30,000 would not be paid until after I moved out of the house or vacant possession. The gender violence solicitors had been telling me all along that it should be money first then leave.

He emailed the agreement to me the night before the deposit was due to be paid.
The next day I was trying to contact him, no answer. I was pacing the floor I had a very strange feeling like I felt nauseous. I had no communication until later in the day when he told me the buyers had dropped out. Even when I informed the Ex partner he could have his house back, he could have vacant possession, and that I had somewhere to go he refused to meet or pay any of the money or even to communicate again. You see he was in control, I had NO power, he held all the power, and I had no one on my side to negotiate for me and help me to get out of the situation with some dignity and financial security. He did not treat me with basic human decency, he showed no empathy or respect he would take no responsibility for the situation that he had created.

This is what happens when one person has control of the finances in the relationship. This is what can happen when you trust someone that you love, and they betray you. They cheat on you multiple times, they lie and manipulate you. They are unpredictable, they change their minds they can go from Mr Nice Guy to Mr Nasty at the flip of a coin.

I heard nothing from him until January 2022. Out of the blue, I received an email. “Happy New Year Loraine” Oh my! as if nothing had happened. He had someone who wanted to view the house.
Would I accommodate a viewing? I did not reply immediately, I had a friend help me to draft a reply. I told him I would accommodate the viewing i he would honour his first financial proposal.

The next email I received was not friendly at all. He told me I was now at risk of the Guardia turning up unexpectedly and I would leave with just my personal possessions. I’m not being vindictive. I just want my house back. Strange that he would say that because when I offered him his house back in July 2021 when I had the offer of a place to rent, he refused to cooperate or communicate. When the facts were that if he paid the money he had agreed to pay then the purchasers who were willing to pay the deposit could have gone ahead with buying the house. But oh no, not him. He would rather force an eviction and put me through even more trauma.

I am writing the sequel to my first book, the title of the book is “Deceptions and Illusions. Embroidered with Truth” You can find my first book on Amazon and Worldwide digital platforms. “Post Separation Abuse. Betrayal and Abandonment, What Type of Man?” I will also be launching my PodCast very soon.

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12 Useful ways to increase website traffic in 2022

1) Start a blog (if you haven’t yet)

No matter what industry you are working in, a blog is a great way to regularly publish valuable, unique, fresh, and share-worthy content. Search engines and users appreciate this, which immediately leads to traffic growth.

2) Use attractive headlines

One of the ways to increase website traffic is to write headlines that are catchy to the readers. Write headlines that give your visitors an idea of what benefit they will get from clicking on a particular post.

3) Harness the power of video marketing

A pdf report by Cisco says that video will account for 82% of traffic by 2022. Now is the time to consider video marketing in your traffic-boosting strategies. Try using videos on your website and on social networks that offer video publishing options.

4) Create educational content

Online courses, questions and answers, e-books, audio books, ultimate guides, tutorials, etc. will provide value to your audience. This will definitely result in a traffic boost, increase your session duration, and add to your credibility.

5) Hold free webinars

Webinars are a great way to increase website traffic. This can connect you to influencers and engage in a live conversation. Invite your audience to take part in the free event a week or so ahead of the planned date and do not forget to send the presentation or summary after the event.

6) Repurpose old posts

Take some posts that have performed well and republish them in a different format. As long as a particular topic has been successful with your audience, a podcast could become a blog post, a blog post could become a video, and so on, to gain more traffic.

7) Try historical optimisation

The term “historical optimisation” was coined by Pamela Vaughan, key marketing manager of HubSpot. When HubSpot embarked on a programme of historical optimisation they saw organic search views of their updated blog posts go up by 106% on average. It basically means updating old posts to make them fresher and more up-to-date, so they generate more traffic and leads.

8) Use guest blogging

A great way to generate backlinks from a reputable site is to offer to let them publish your blog. Ask their teams if they would be interested in particular topics and agree to post active backlinks. Note that it’s important to offer unique posts, not duplicate your existing one.

9) Examine Your Analytics Data

Google Analytics is an invaluable source of data on just about every conceivable aspect of your site, from your most popular pages to visitor demographics. Keep a close eye on your Analytics data, and use this information to inform your promotional and content strategies. Pay attention to what posts and pages are proving the most popular. Inspect visitor data to see how, where and when your site traffic is coming from.

10)Submit your site to search engines

Also helpful for SEO, you can request search engines to crawl and index your site, increasing your odds at appearing on results pages for relevant queries. 

• For Google: Submit your site via Search Console.
• For Bing and Yahoo: Learn how to submit URLs her

11) Advertise via ad networks

If you have a budget (it doesn’t have to be big), tap into the opportunity of ad networks. Create digital ads that promote your website, target ads towards your ideal customer, and watch the traffic roll in. 

Some ad networks to check out: 

• Google Display Network
• AdRoll
• Microsoft Advertising
• Quora ads
• Taboola
• Outbrain

12) Reach out to reporters on Help A Reporter Out

Help A Reporter Out (HARO) is a tool journalists and writers use to find and connect with sources for stories they’re working on. Publicists and brands use it to find queries for pitches for specific stories. 

Sign up for HARO’s emails in your respective categories and look out for queries you can answer. Pay attention to any specific pitch guidelines to increase your odds at getting accepted. Many times, the writers will talk about your brand and include a link to your site. 

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Thrive Themes Plugins that work

Thrive Themes is a suite of WordPress plugins and themes that work together optimise your WordPress website. I’ve personally built a number of websites (including this one) using these tools are what has allowed me to make beautiful looking websites without coding knowledge.

Thrive Themes is a comprehensive package that offers you all the plugins, templates, lead boxes and much more than you will ever need to build a great looking, high converting website and I hope this post will help you in learning more about them.

With this set of tools, you will be able to build beautiful websites and high converting landing pages – all without writing a single line of code.

You won’t have to mix-and-match your WordPress themes and plugins to get the right page elements to work together and will have a complete solution for the blogging and marketing needs of your online business.

In this article, I’ll be answering some of the frequently asked questions that people come up with.

Thrive Themes FAQ’s

What are thrive themes?

They are one of the most advanced, yet, simple-to-use WordPress suite of website tools. They have created conversion-optimized plugins and themes that give a real boost to your online business.

How much is thrive themes?

Pricing. You can either purchase each of the tools individually, or you can opt for complete access to everything for one small fee of $19/month, paid yearly. Individual Thrive Themes tools will cost you:  $97-$127 – Click the image below for more details

Is Thrive Theme available free?

In short, No.

You can host all of your content within the Thrive Apprentice feature, but it is not a membership area. It is built to be used in conjunction with other membership plugins (some of which are available for free. )

Is thrive architect a theme?

Thrive Architect works themes  independently. All the landing page templates completely override your theme’s page settings and you can use the editor to create and edit content in the content area of any WordPress theme.

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10 Ways to Increase Your Conversions

Getting traffic to your website is great, however, if that traffic doesn’t convert, it’s almost useless. This article will outline 10 proven strategies to increase your conversions or getting your visitors to take action.

1. Include as few fields as possible.

When asking for information from prospects using an email opt-in form, ask for as little information as necessary. I usually keep it down to just two fields, name and email address. Some opt in pages ask for just the email, but then you can’t personalise your follow up messages with their name. Using the prospects first name in the follow up can get you a higher open rate.

2. Add a guarantee.

Include your no-questions-asked refund policy on all purchases. This reduces risk, and increased sales will usually more than make up for any returns. Make sure you have a strong guarantee, not the usual stand 30/ 60 / 90 days fluff that all marketers off on the sales page.  Try this instead,  “If for ANY reason you feel this training wasn’t worth your full time and attention, I insist you shoot me an email to ask for a refund. At ANY time, for ANY reason. There is no time limit on this guarantee.”  Source CrazyEgg.Com

3. Use testimonials.

Testimonials provide social proof and reduce risk for your prospects. Use them on product landing pages as well as on your email opt-in landing page. If you don’t have any clients or customers who have tried your product or service, try doing a pre launch with a small group of fans or followers on your social media. Offer a low cost entry of free trial in return for feedback and testimonies.

4. Pay careful attention to your headline.

The headline is the single most important element on your landing page. Think of at least 10 different possibilities write them out then use them on Social Media posts before choosing the strongest one. You will see which headline got you more post engagement.

5. Use video to humanise your brand.

Including simple videos on your landing pages shows there’s a real person behind your product or service. You can use a short welcome message or a brief overview of WIIFT whats in it for them, these types of videos often increase conversions on your website. Often a video is on a second page after opting in this is called a Bridge page, to give prospects an opportunity to see who you are before taking them to the sales page.

6. Use strong calls to action. 

Let your readers know exactly what you want them to do next, whether that’s click a button, read a blog post or fill out a form, a sure way to increase conversions.

7. Tell visitors exactly what they’re going to get.

What are the features and benefits? What does it look like? What are the possible uses? Who will benefit most from it? How will it be delivered? Provide visitors with everything they need to know about your product.

8. Include a privacy statement on opt-in forms.

Having a privacy policy on your opt in pages or sign up form is a must. You need to have this to use many of the advertising platforms, it’s also been passed in law by many countries and you don’t want to get sued. Plus a number of other reason too.

9. Use high-quality image.

Using generic, tacky stock photos can send the wrong message about your brand. Use professional-quality photos where possible. If your start up costs are limited you can use a platform like Canva.com to create designs and image yourself.

10. Include a headshot.

Don’t be afraid to include a personal photo in your sidebar or near your call to actions. It can reduce the sense of risk by showing that there’s a real person behind the website and brand.

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Sixteen Must-Have WordPress Blog Plugins

WordPress Blog Plugins

Some of you may not know that I have been using WordPress since 2005. The main reason I started creating websites with WP was to market my Property Lettings Business. I started out in a niche market for Student Lettings in Sunderland. In 2006 our business was probably the only “Student Lettings” Business in Sunderland that had a searchable website to showcase the properties.  I tried lots of WP Blog Plugins over the years and the list below is some of the most useful plugins I’m using now.

WordPress Blog Plugins

Here is a list of some of the plugins I have installed on my websites.

Akismet Anti-Spam –  Akismet is quite possibly the best way in the world to protect your blog from spam. Your site is fully configured and being protected, even while you sleep.

Shareaholic – share buttons for your pages and posts, help you and others to share your content around the web via selected social media networks. I also like the print PDF of web page which I found very useful in my property business.

Facebook comments by WPDevart – This Facebook comments plugin will help you to display Facebook Comments box on your website. You can use Facebook Comments on your pages/posts.

Pixel Caffeine – Quickest and easiest way to connect your Facebook Advertising account. Install the base code pixel on your web pages so you can build custom audiences from your website / blog for your Facebook marketing.

Pretty Links Marketers Edition – Shrink, track and share any URL on the Internet from your WordPress website.

NextScripts, Social Networks Autoposter – This plugin automatically publishes posts from your blog to multiple accounts on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ profiles and/or pages.

WP InstaLegalPages – A helpful and time saver premium plugin to auto-add legal pages on your sites. (check and edit where required to fit with your product or service, but very handy plugin.)

YouTube Advanced by Embed Plus – Uses an advanced YouTube player to enhance the playback and engagement of each YouTube embed. Just paste YouTube Links!

Note the White Screen of Death

OptimizePress – OptimizePress plugin for marketers. Create squeeze pages, sales letters and much more with ease. This plugin has caused me some headaches (note “White Screen of Death”) a few years ago.

Yoast SEO – I use this on all of my websites. The all-in-one SEO solution for WordPress, including on-page content analysis, XML sitemaps. It helps you to optimise your headlines and post copy, so that it is search engine friendly.

Google Sitemap – This plugin will generate a special XML sitemap which will help search engines like Google, Yahoo, Bing and Ask.com to better index your blog.

W3 Total Cache – Improves the SEO and user experience of your site by increasing website performance, reducing download times via features like content delivery.

WP Email Capture – Captures emails for insertion into software such as Aweber or Mailchimp

WordPress Editorial Calendar – The Editorial Calendar makes it possible to see all your posts and drag and drop them to manage your blog

WP Content Copy Protection & No Right Click – This WP plugin protects the posts content from being copied by any other web site author, if you don’t want your content to spread without your permission! There will be no copy and paste function.

WP Property – WP- Property is a leading WordPress plugin for creating and managing real estate sales and property rentals and management.
This WordPress Blog plugin I used to showcase the student rental properties. Not using this now, but it is still available to transform WordPress sites into Property Marketing websites.