20 Moments of Confusion, Fear, and Intimidation.
Host, Loraine Marshall, returns after a break, revisiting a chapter from her first book. She shares the transcript of a deeply personal meeting held five years ago. What was intended as a discussion about financial proposals after a breakup quickly escalated, leading to civil and criminal litigation for various offences, including defamation, harassment, and theft. Loraine reflects on this harrowing experience, highlighting the one-sided nature of the meeting and the verbal aggression she endured.
Key Moments & Takeaways
The meeting was not a negotiation; it was an imposition of demands. From the start, Loraine’s ex-partner shut down her alternative proposals, stating she “hadn’t listened” to what he wanted. He then told her to “go away and think about it,” despite her already having a detailed proposal prepared. This demonstrated his complete disregard for her input.
Loraine reveals a history of control and verbal abuse that preceded the meeting. She reflects on her inability to communicate effectively with him, a pattern that began after he confessed to an affair. She realised he consistently used verbal aggression—raising his voice, saying “nasty” things, and getting angry—to silence her. This created a dynamic where her voice was suppressed.
Legal Advice To File A Gender Violence Complaint
The severity of his cruel behaviour hit home when a Spanish solicitor, after hearing the recording of the meeting, advised Loraine to file a gender violence complaint. In the recording, her ex-partner is heard using aggressive and threatening language, while banging his fist down on the glass table, shouting, “I’ll make it the 15th of fucking November if I want to. Don’t fuck about with me. I’ve told you 4 months.”.
Throughout the meeting, he employed threats and belittling remarks to maintain dominance. He warned her, “You’ve had one strike already,” and told her to “just be careful how you tread,” suggesting her future security depended on him. He further escalated his aggression by calling her a “fucking bleeding heart, post-menopausal, sad old bitch.”
How I Became “Collateral Damage”
This meeting didn’t bring about an amicable end to the relationship. Instead, it became the beginning of legal intimidation for Loraine, who was left in confusion, fear, trauma, and financially vulnerable. She describes being left without work and limited savings, with her ex-partner referring to her as “collateral damage.” The situation post-discard ultimately led to her ex-partner taking both civil litigation for eviction and criminal allegations for defamation, slander, harassment, revealing secrets, misappropriation, theft, and damages.
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For more on my journey of trying to follow legal advice that didn’t help me, and mediation attempts that ended in me sacking the consultants and posting a video calling them out on the lies and deceit. Read my story titled “When Four Months Turns Into Four Years,” written in December 2024, the week after the second eviction attempt was suspended.
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