My Fight for Truth and a New Beginning in Spain.
Love Lost
In August 2020, I was in so much fear after the abrupt termination of my relationship.
I experienced post-separation abuse while the former partner was still with me in Spain before he left to return to the UK leaving me in the retirement home that he had promised was our first home together.
Despite his saying he wanted to end things friendly and amicably, things turned nasty as he became threatening and intimidating. One day, he was writing out his generous offer of a financial settlement after 11 years in a relationship. Then, days later, I was told he was in control, and I had to do as he said, or I could be thrown out onto the streets.
Lawsuit Launched
By October 2020, two weeks after he moved into the home of the woman he had told me he had fallen in love with, I received his email telling me he had never loved me. He was now going to Court, and I would be evicted, leaving with nothing.
I was already in shock and grief from love lost, and how he had terminated our relationship and now I was being blamed, he told me I was disrespectful. Now, I was fearful that I would lose everything that I had worked towards for my retirement and future security.
Fear and Anxiety
The level of heartbreak, fear, and anxiety was unbelievable. I was unable to think about anything else. It was like I was standing at a cliff edge and believing that in four months, I would be homeless with no income and no job, and left financially devastated with no settlement that he had promised in his financial proposal letter.
However, things did not happen as quickly as he had told me. No one was able to take court action for eviction in 2020, and due to COVID-19, the Spanish Authorities did not lift restrictions until autumn 2021.
Fight for Truth
I started to create a YouTube Channel, and then I started to write my story in April 2021. I had no idea what I was doing or why. The ideas that came to me so I acted on them. I published my first book in May 2022 “Post Separation Abuse, Betrayal Abandonment, What Type Of Man?” using the pen name Loren Keeling.
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Civil Court
Then 2022 was the scariest, most frightening year I have ever experienced in my life. In June, the Spanish Civil Court verbal hearing for “precarious” eviction was heard. My defence solicitor told me, “The Judge will order your eviction.” It seemed a done deal. Why was I even there? It took all of 5 minutes where my lawyer spoke a few words in Spanish, his lawyer spoke a few words in Spanish, and then the Judge banged down his hammer, and that was it.
The free solicitor did not present any of my evidence to the court. She would not even interrogate the plaintiff (the Ex). Why? Because neither of us understood Spanish, I had recognised FREE justice and had no income. So, the Court would need to appoint translator services. (Saving the Authority a little bit of money by not providing a translator in court)
As an English foreigner in Spain, I had no access to equal justice. I could not believe that I had been failed by the justice system a second time. This is a human rights issue under the CEDAW Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women. Even the GREVIO REPORT of November 2020 refers to some of the failings, lack of data, and need for improvements.
Criminal Allegations
I now have the outline of the sequel to my first book because the story and my journey are not over yet. There is a lot to document. How the former partner won the eviction case, and why the appeal that was lodged by the defence lawyer was dismissed. How the former partner took further legal action with seven criminal allegations against me in 2022.
Three years post-separation in August 2023 I still did not have my life back on track. But hey, I survived, many women give up on themselves, and domestic violence is a factor in up to one-quarter of female suicide attempts. I launched my Podcast and also published my first book in Spanish which is now available worldwide.
Now it’s June 2024 so it is nearly four years post-separation. The eviction was set for March 21st 2024 the only advice I was given by a free public lawyer was that the Police would arrive by 12.30 pm to help me. I narrowly avoided eviction when I went to the Court House again and made another appeal. The eviction was suspended. The Criminal case against me is partly resolved, five out of seven allegations were dismissed by the Judge.
Things might be tough right now, with three overlapping court cases still to be resolved, but I am continuing day by day, bit by bit, as best I can.
New Beginning in Spain
My dream in 2020 was to start over again. A new beginning in Spain. I had an idea to start a retreat business, I even talked about that idea to the NLP Transformation Coach that the former partner had seen the weekend before he arrived in Spain. You see he could be very generous and the day before he decided to terminate our relationship he offered me the opportunity to have the same “transformational coaching” as he had just done.
He talked about flying back to the UK, booking a hotel and a hire car and paying for the coaching; he would be there for me so that I could have “the success in business that I always wanted”. (Was this his manipulation attempt, fly me back to the UK, then dump me?) When he told me this, my mind was asking, WHY? Post-discard, the coaching went ahead in September via Zoom, and of course, the coach thought my plan of starting a Retreat was a great idea.
Watch the Video to see some of the t-shirt designs available from the Success With Loraine Merch.
The legal advice I was given was conflicting.
1. Remain in the property and negotiate. This had been the main option. However, due to the abusive nature of the communication from the former partner, it was impossible. August / September 2020
2. File a gender violence / domestic abuse complaint. Which was something I didn’t want to do. The solicitor’s advice was repeated to me. File a gender violence complaint. October 2020
3. The next legal advice came from the ex-partner’s Solicitor. As I requested cooperation and mediation as I did not wish to file the GV complaint. The solicitor warned me to be careful as I could be prosecuted with a false claim. He knew of a stream of colleagues who would give that advice with no real facts.
4. When the GV case failed in court in January 2021 and was dismissed. The next legal advice was also conflicting. At the CAVI organisation, from the lawyers, do not appeal or file further gender violence. You will make him angry. – Negotiate.
He was already angry. With no legal representation or any financial support, this advice was also impossible.
I should never have been left in a position to try to negotiate without legal representation—another failing.
From the GREVIO REPORT –
GREVIO notes with satisfaction that Article 44, paragraph 5, of Organic Law 1/2004 expressly prohibits mediation in cases of intimate partner violence that come before a specialist violence against women court.
It’s time for change. Sign The Petition
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